Don't tell me cause it hurts
by Fighter23
Summary: Rachel has been broken. She starts cutting she stops eating she starts smoking and drinking. And she changes her physical looks.


**Hey guys! So I wrote something before but it didn't make sense so I changed it. This is the story of Rachel being broken.**

**Set after silly love songs…**

_**Rachel's POV**_

My life feels numb. I feel broken. I only have a couple friends. Mike, Puck, Sam, Santana, and Brittany. Kurt doesn't count. He doesn't go to the school anymore. I don't let Santana and Brittany hang out with me at school. I don't want bring down their reputation and ruin there life like I've ruined others. I heard my alarm for school go off. I groaned and got up. I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. I cut my bangs off so perfectly. I put it in a messy bun. I put on a sweat shirt that was too big on me with some skinny jeans. I got on my Nike sneakers and went downstairs.

"Dad? Pops?" I called my dads when I got downstairs. I couldn't find them. I found a note that read:

_Gone to Boston on business for the month. We inserted money into your bank account._

_*Love Dad and Pops_

I got so angry at the note I threw it on the floor. I didn't even want to eat. I was so pissed that my dads just left like that. I looked at the knives then my wrist. I grabbed the pocket knife and put 2 cuts on my wrist each. It felt so… good. I put the pocket knife in my book bag and left. I took my dad's car. It was the black Mercedes Benz. I was looking for something in the glove box when I found cigarettes and a lighter. I said what the hell and smoked a cigarette. I liked the way it felt so I put it in my bag too. When I got out the car I started to smoke another one. I wasn't done with it as I got into the school so I just continued to smoke it. I didn't care. I was over everything. I was over Finn. I was over Quinn thinking I wasn't over Finn. I was over everything. When I got to my locker I saw I still had photo's up of me and Finn. I took them and put them in the trash. I got my books and put them in my bag. First period was Spanish with Mr.S I threw out my cigarette and walked to first period. I came in and sat next to Noah. I knew he was gonna ask me if I was ok. came in stopped him. I was barely paying attention when I saw a note handed to me. [Bold is Puck Italics is Rachel]

**What's up with you?**

_What are you talking about?_

**You look different and you smell like cigarettes**

_I got rid of my bangs and I smoked twice. Sue me_

**You never act like this. What's up with you?**

The bell cut back whatever I was gonna respond back to him. Quickly left. Classes went on. After 4th period I had lunch. I wasn't gonna eat. I sat down at a table that consists of the glee club. Everyone was talking about something. Prom, Regionals, whatever. I just sat there looking down.

"Rachie, what's wrong? Why didn't you eat yet?" Brittany asked me. I look up.

"I'm fine Britt. I'm just not hungry." I said lying. I was starving. I felt really fat though compared to Santana, Brittany and Quinn.

"What's wrong Treasure Trail? Barbra Streisand die or something?" Quinn scoffed. Ok any appetite I might have had before is gone now.

"Excuse me you guys. But I'm gonna got out for a smoke." I said grabbing my bag and going outside. I went to the back of the school. I started lighting up my first cig. As I was smoking it Mike came outside.

"Put it out Rachel." Mike said to me as if I was gonna listen.

"No I'm good. Thanks though." I shot right back him.

"It could kill you."

"I hope it does." I said stepping on my cigarette and walking back inside. The bell rang which meant it was time for glee. I went into the choir room and sat down. Everyone else arrived looking at me weird. I ignored the looks. came in.

"Alright. So who wants that solo for regionals? Rachel?" He asked looking at me. Everyone else looked up at me.

"No." I said simple. Everyone looked at me shocked. Even . "What? Ever heard of no. It means the same in Spanish _no._ N-O." I said like they were stupid.

"We've heard it we just thought that it would never come out of your mouth? What's up with you today? Your smoking, not eating, rejecting solos. What the hell?" Puck said.

"Fine you want me to act normal? Then here. Santana, Brittany, and I sing we got the beat. For the group number we sing We Are Young. And for the solo it is given to Puck who sings Over my head by the fray. Are you happy? Fantastic." I said pissed the hell off.

"That's actually good. We have our set list!" Mr.S said excited. Quinn scoffed.

"Are we really gonna listen to Rupaul?" Quinn bitched.

"Oh please just cause you're cheating on Sam doesn't mean you have to bitch." I said. Quinn paled and everyone else had a what the hell look. "What I knew. I mean really who the hell chokes on a damn gumball?" I asked as Sam raised his hand at my question. "That was a rhetorical question Sam. Now what really happened was Santana here knew that Finn and Quinn were sneaking around and she was saving Trouty mouth from being heart broken. So she kissed a mono patient then kissed Finn. She knew Finn would kiss Quinn later so they would both get mono. Hence the fact they both got mono yesterday." I explained. "I wasn't being a blabber mouth. I was saving someone from being hurt." I said.

"First off. I didn't even tell you my plan. How did you figure it out?" Santana asked me confused.

"Anyone could." I replied.

"Second of all. If you were a boy I would so date you. Your turning into me and Puckerman combined." Santana said. The bell rang and it was time to leave. As I grabbed my bag Sam grabbed my wrist. Right where the cuts were. _Ouch. _

"I just wanted to thank you for revealing the truth today." Sam said. He must've figured out that what he was doing hurt so he let go quick. He got suspicious and rolled up my sleeve. Shit Shit Shit. He saw my cuts. His eyes got as big as beach balls. I quickly ran to the parking lot. I was gonna be excepting some company. I just knew it.

**Alright guys. That's it for this chapter! Did you like it or did you hate it. Next chapter Sam and the other guys visit Rachel at home.**


End file.
